After Cute Glasses and I made things official, our relationship progressed at a steady pace. We usually had plans both weekend night and a couple of times throughout the week. Each conversation we had made me realized how much we had in common. We were raised with similar values and sought similar paths in life. We agreed on money matters, moral issues and even politics. We had the makings of a long lasting relationship. Our basic compatibility was different then I experienced in my past relationships.
I met Cute Glasses parents on Halloween, three months after we met. They turned out to be lovely people who were genuinely interested in meeting me. I could tell that they were a lot like my own loving and supportive parents. Our conversation that night reinforced that Cute Glasses and I were raised with similar ideals and comparable opportunities. It was a judgment free zone; they obviously trusted their son’s judgment in women. This was a relief since I had negative experiences with my boyfriend’s family in the past.
With the “meet the parents” milestone out of the way, Cute Glasses suggested that we go on our first vacation. We had discussed booking a ten-day trip to Ireland that February but I figured that we should first take a mini vacation first to see how well we traveled together. We chose to visit my favorite Aunt and Uncle in Boston. The plan was to stay with family and attend a Patriot’s game over the course of a long weekend. My hope was that Aunt and Uncle would approve of Cute Glasses; they have known me my whole life and I credit them as good judge of character.
Well, the first night with Aunt and Uncle was a fabulous time. We ordered take out while Uncle and Cute Glasses sampled fine scotch. Once the libations were flowing, Aunt brought out a new board game. The game was much like charades: you could use different methods to get the other players to guess the word/phrase on your card. Cute Glasses’ miming skills were so amusing that we bagged the directions and just called out guesses while he hopped around the living room like a rabbit or danced like a ballerina. He was open and loose with my family almost as if he had known them a long time. It felt natural and genuine. Aunt and Uncle were for the first time, impressed by my significant other.
You see, things with PB and Rocker Boy were not the same. Rocker Boy was not confident enough to interact with my family on such a level. I believe that Rocker Boy was so intimidated by anyone outside his comfort zone that he clammed up in unfamiliar situations. It would have been like pulling teeth to get him to agree to play a game with people he just met, let alone actively participate. PB on the other hand would have been sure enough of his intelligence to participate, but it would not be his idea of fun. It would have been more of a labor of love in his eyes, whereas Cute Glasses was in his element. We were not making sacrifices or compromising for one another…we actually found the same activity enjoying.
Do not get me wrong, Cute Glasses and I do not watch all the same TV shows or read the same types of books. In fact, that weekend, we sat in bed together enjoying books of vastly different genres. We have different interests and hobbies but our idea of a good time is parallel. I think that this is an important distinction in relationship. No two people are going to agree on everything, but at the root of the bond, your interests should compliment one another. Compromise is a part of every relationship, but if you find yourself constantly making concessions for your partner, that should raise a red flag. Spending time together should be easy, not a chore. If you find that type connection with someone, hang on tight. However, if you find yourself constantly outside your element in a relationship, you might be with the wrong person.
When Cute Glasses and I arrived home from Boston, we booked the trip to Ireland. A short weekend trip together was evidence that we would be compatible travel partners. Cute Glasses even suggested we go over Valentines Day. It was potentially the trip of a lifetime. Time would tell…